If you are a competitor, you test yourself, constantly iterating to ultimately win. And this works. It can even sustain you. For a time. Momentarily.

And while competition might be a great motivator for those seeking self-actualization, those who seek to go deeper, who seek to go farther, have to develop a different muscle.

You have to train and develop your ability to genuinely celebrate another person's success. You have to build the habit of feeling true joy when the people around you win. You have to let them have it.

Do you do that now? Or do you snicker? Do you feel jealous? Do you think: That person has everyone fooled. That person does not deserve it. That should be me.

When your protege takes their fleeting moment on stage and turns it into the highlight of the event, cheer them. Beam. Let them have their day under the lights.

When they hand the ball to the running back, and he runs for 99 yards and the game winning touchdown, be the first one down there to tackle him in the end zone, as frenzied with glee as he is.

When someone else gets the promotion you deserve, congratulate them sincerely. Be happy for them. Maybe it was the best thing that ever happened to them. Maybe its time for you to go.

This might sound a bit simple and naive. After all, we all want to maximize. We all want to be the best. Or at least, better than them.

But those who are seeking another level, who are seeking to drop the self in self-actualization, should try to cultivate this action and reaction to outside stimulus. There are no winners in envy.

When the people around you succeed, celebrate their victory. Be the cheering parent. Be the jubilant teammate. Be the tearful bridesmaid. For the right reasons.

POSTSCRIPT: What about those who win through vile means? What about those who rise up with malevolence? Are we to cheer them? Of course not. However, this lesson is more a reflection of you and your character. Sadly, evil in others is a forever issue. Happily, evil in ourselves is not.